


Enough

by idkbro



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 16:20:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3698912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idkbro/pseuds/idkbro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>.... sorry i just rlly like depressing fics</p></blockquote>





	Enough

“Shit.” Frank mutters, half running through the crowded hallways of the hospital. “Shit. Shit. Shit.” He counts the door numbers. 138. 140. He pushes past a sobbing family. 142. Someone hobbles past him on crutches. 144. A nurse rushes past him with a determined look on her face. Finally, he reaches the room that he was called to. Room 146. He had been spending a lot of time there recently. Room 146 had become Frank’s own hell, heart monitor beeping, doctors and nurses muttering amongst themselves, and him, unconscious and pale. He was just laying there, he had been just laying there for the past two months. Two fucking months. Two months where Frank had to take hours off of work every week just to see him. Two months of sitting by his bed and telling him stories about his day. Two months of being helpless, two months of just watching and waiting.

And apparently now, after two months, the doctors weren’t sure that Gerard was going to make it.

“What?” Frank questioned quietly, after the doctor had told him the news. “You what?”

“Mr. Iero, I’m sorry, but we are certain that he will never wake up. No amount of machinery or medication can heal him. I know that it can be difficult, however-”

“No. No no no no. You can’t be serious. He’s gonna wake up.” Frank insists, not having absorbed the fact quite yet. “He’ll be fine, just wait, you’ll see.”

“Please sit down, Mr. Iero.” He motions to a chair sitting in the corner of the room. Frank obeys, shaking a bit, but managing to sit down. “Gerard cannot wake up. Whatever he took that night was the final straw for his body. All of the drugs that he had been taking before were slowly killing him, this was inevitable as long as he kept up the lifestyle that he was living.”

“So you mean...” Frank says, trying to block out tears, “So you mean that I’m never gonna see him alive or awake ever again? Ever?”

“I am sorry to say so, but yes.”

“What-” Frank sniffles and wipes away tears that are beginning to form, “What are you gonna do? I mean now that he’s-” He gives up on holding back his emotions and lets out a sob. “Now that he’s not gonna be alive.”

“Well, I will have to ask some of the other doctors what they say and we will find a course of action. But for right now, I think you might want a bit of alone time with Gerard. I know it will be difficult for you to handle, but you will get through this.” The doctor leaves the room and the air is empty except for the steady beeping of the heart monitor.

Frank sits in the chair, pulling his knees up to his chest and allowing himself to cry a bit more. His best friend, if you want to call it that, his only friend, would not wake up. Ever. Frank finally gets up and stands next to the bed where Gerard is laying. His face is so calm, so pale, so perfect. But not so alive.

“It’s my fault, isn’t it?” Frank confesses, “I knew you were fucked up, I knew you were taking too much. And I fucking tried to get you to stop, I fucking tried, I fucking tried so fucking hard to get you clean. But I didn’t try hard enough, did I?” He stops to stare at his friend, trying to fit the pieces together, how such an alive boy became such a dead boy. How his eyes, once so bright, were now shut, permanently. How his lips, the ones that Frank had dreamt about kissing, were now cracked and pale, and would never kiss him back.

“You know I loved you, probably more than I should’ve. But it wasn’t enough, it was never enough. Nothing is ever enough for you. Not enough drugs, not enough alcohol, not enough time, not enough sleep. Well here you are, is this enough fucking sleep for you, is it fucking enough yet?!” Frank buries his face into his hands. “I hope you can hear me” He whispers, “I hope you know that you were always enough. And I hope that’s enough for you to wake up. Please.”

Frank sits down on the edge of the bed, holding Gerard’s hand. “And the night before this happened, when you called me, you left a voicemail, remember? And you told me something was wrong and I knew something was wrong. But I didn’t call your brother. Remember? You made me promise that if anything happened to you, I should call him. But I didn’t. Because I thought that I was enough for you. And I thought I could save you. But I couldn’t. And I can’t.” He sits in the silent room, remembering how he had listened to the voicemail, Gerard telling him that he was going to end it all, remembering how he had panicked and wasn’t able to drive well enough to get to Gerard’s house, and when he got there he thought Gerard was dead and oh god oh god what was he going to do and how when the ambulance came and told him that he wasn’t dead Frank cried because he was so happy. But he wasn’t alive either and that also made Frank cry.

Frank weaves his fingers through his own hair, thinking about that night. “Fuck, Gerard. Without you, I’m gonna be so alone. I don’t understand why you didn’t consider that.”

**Author's Note:**

> .... sorry i just rlly like depressing fics


End file.
